Happy Post

Have you ever cried for the whole day and then felt asleep for a long time? It usually happened when we were young. After a heavy rain, you drown yourself into a deep sleep.

From my previous post, I felt like I want to cry. This time, my tears felt down but it wasn't the reason that I want to cry. My tears did come down but I was not crying.

Don't worry, I was not being down. I would treat my yesterday tiredness as due to my extreme consumption of energy on overcoming the complicated feeling and the painfulness from my ankle sprain. My eyes were wet and then I felt asleep while I was folding my clothes. A good news for me, I have grown up. I have learnt to bear the pain without putting it on my mouth. Credit goes to my good friend as she has thought me to be patient so that others won't be so "fan" for listening to my "aiyo, aiyo!" Sometimes, when pain was accompanying with silence, it would actually bring me deeper down to my thought, my feeling. In another words, I learnt lessons.

Sometimes, when something is seen not possible to be happened, and yet you would hoping for 0.01% out of no possibility for it to happen, you would force yourself to accept your imagination but you will feel helpless as reality remains unchanged. My friend told me that I am not brave enough to face the fact, maybe she is right. Sometime, something triggers my stupidity.

I hope to be perfect. Sadly saying, I am not perfect. Things went wrong and wrong. I started to fed up with myself. If I am the only one who suffer for the careless, I will be okay. However, it somehow affects others and bring inconvenience to others. I am sorry, I am just not perfect.

Today, similar problem is happening again. My temper blew up straight away. Shouting? Scolding? NO, all I wanted to say is "that's hurt."

Everyone in this world is like travelling in a train. Some gets into the train earlier and some gets into the train later. Some meets and becomes family, friend and sometimes enemy. Similarly, some gets out from the train faster and some later. However, all of us have a destination. I really hope the one who taught me how play poker cards, challenged me to have my first mouth of royal stout, my companion when I was finding people to play snake with me and cheating him to win the game can live his life to its full meaning. I hope he has the same destination as mine.

God,
yesterday and today,
I know I am so weak, so imperfect.
I know right now, as I am still living,
there is a chance for me to learn, to know you.
Love does not have speed class,
time is my lesson.
He needs you very much,
You knows it better.
Please give him chance,
as many as you can,
I pray that one day,
me and him are at the same destination,
the place you suffered to prepare for us.

In your name, I pray.